CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Dearest Clifford,

I'm very sorry to have to write and tell you that I am in love with someone else. It is my wish that we divorce, so that I may then marry Duncan. I feel terrible to do this to you, but I just cannot return to Wragby. I'm sure that you can find another woman, who would love you better than I have. I know that you never loved me as much as I needed you to. Please try to understand and divorce me, so that we both can be happy again.

When Clifford read this, he sat up in bed suddenly, without saying a word. He had expected this to happen, but he never told anyone about it. His white face and absolute silence made Mrs Bolton think he had become terribly ill all of a sudden. It was not until she ran to the phone to call a doctor that Clifford finally spoke.

"She's not returning to me."

"Who? Lady Chatterley? But that's impossible, Sir Clifford!" Mrs Bolton said.

Actually, she very much believed it. She felt that he deserved to be left alone, as well, for he let It all happen without a fight. He must have known the whole time that Ms •-. Wife loved another man, but he never one*- sod anything to anyofte about it. He just let it continue, pretending he knew nothing.

Mrs Bolton had seen this kind of thing before. She knew that the best thing to do was to help him cry, so, she forced some tears out of her eyes and, almost immediately, Sir Clifford's eyes began to water, as well. She saw this, and then went over to him and took him in her arms to comfort him. It was then that he started to cry uncontrollably, like a baby.

From this day on, he acted as a child with Mrs Bolton. Their relationship became strangely close, with him touching and kissing her breasts as she washed him in the mornings, and her playfully kissing him back. It was quite shameful. However, at the same time, his abilities as a businessman somehow became even stronger. And he carried out his business with the greatest success.

He wrote Connie a letter, saying that he would like to see her one last time, before agreeing to a divorce. Connie and Mellors both felt that he could not be trusted, but seeing that they had very little choice, Connie agreed to come to Wragby.

Hilda went with her, even though Clifford had said she was not welcome. Being back in that large house made Connie very uncomfortable. She truly hated Wragby now, more than ever. When she sat with Clifford, he was very cold toward her. He asked her why it was that she had to leave him.

"I love another man," she answered.

But he did not believe that she could suddenly fall so much in love with Duncan Forbes to change her entire life for him.

"I'm having his child," she then explained.

Even this did not convince Clifford of her need to leave Wragby. And Connie, seeing that these lies were not working, decided to tell him the truth.

"It's actually Oliver Mellors, whom I love."

He then exploded with anger.

"That idiot? How could you want a child from him? Why would you want to marry him and take his dirty name? My God! You're crazy! You're hardly the woman I thought you were! No! I will not divorce you!"

"But I could give you the child, and he could then keep your name at Wragby for many years to come!" Connie pleaded, "We don't have to tell people about Mellors. We can use Duncan's name!"

"I'll never agree to a divorce!"

So, Connie left Wragby for the last time. Hilda comforted her, saying that Clifford would surely calm down after a few days and agree to a divorce, for he did not benefit in any way from keeping the marriage. They then, went back to Scotland together, while Mellors got a job working on a farm. They planned to live separately for six more months until his divorce was settled. After that, they would buy some land and have a farm of their own.

September 29th,

The Grange Farm

I managed to get this job through an old Army friend of mine. They've been giving me a lot of work to do, and I'm learning a lot. I think I enjoy farming quite a lot, actually. I guess it's because I deal more with animals than I do people. Even though Bertha didn't come to the divorce meeting, it seems everything will be finished up by March. I'm staying in a family's home now. They treat me well and I get along with them.

The miners in this town are the same as those in Tevershall. They're all terribly unhappy, because the industry is doing badly and they've got no money. Sometimes I talk with the workers in town. I like them, but they're not going to do anything to change their situation. They've got no balls between their legs. They're all pretty much dead, and their sons and daughters are no better. Money and jazz are about all that they think about.

I'm still pretty frightened about the future. All that I really want in life now is to live with you. Even so, I try not to think about you too much, because it upsets me. I know, however, that I'll be with you next year and that keeps me going every day. I will patiently wait for that time to come and enjoy this time, even without sex. Once we're together again in the Spring, we'll fuck again and make that flame between us burn brighter than ever before.

Don't worry much about Clifford. He will let you go one of these days. If he doesn't, that's OK too. We can still be together. But in my heart I believe he really will one day want you completely out of his life.

So, I had better stop here. Until we can again be together, John Thomas wishes Lady Jane, sweet dreams.

(end of section)